About the Character (Ernestine Johnson)

At the age of ten, Ernestine Johnson’s father goes to prison, and her mother turns to drugs. Therefore, from a young age Ernestine learns to survive on her own terms. Overtime, she uses her body to get everything she wants—except love.


Excerpt: My mother poured her first glass of brandy the day the police hauled my father away in handcuffs. By the end of his trial, she was an alcoholic. Every day, she drank bottles of cheap liquor until she finally passed out. The grief consumed her life, and she used the alcohol to soothe the pain. Shortly after we moved into the apartment in Southeast D.C., she discovered drugs. Then, within weeks, the crack cocaine overshadowed the alcohol and obsessed her life. Of course, her addiction left me without a father or a mother, and ultimately sentenced me to life without parole in the ghetto.

Excerpt: By the time I was seventeen years old, I hated my mother. I blamed her for every bad or wrong thing, which happened to me. Many days, I wanted to die. I barely passed my classes in school. My overweight body looked disgusting, and I spent most of my time taking care of her. The rest of the time, I spent hustling in the streets. Our lifestyle became a constant struggle, so to compensate for the financial shortfall I progressed from oral sex to almost anything you want from me sex. I loathed the men, the game, my mother, my father, and many days I hated myself.

Excerpt: Strangely, I felt liberated after Jerome’s brutal beating. For years, I had endured his hell because I believed that I loved him, and that I needed him to validate me. However, the obvious truth was that I hated him as much as I hated my father and every other man in my life. The abuse simply masked the truth; I still hated me.

About the Character (Toni Brown)

Toni Brown is a young woman motivated by hate and vengeance, and she vows to punish the man who stole her life and raped her soul. For three years, he locked her in a basement where he raped, beat, and tortured her nearly every day. Ultimately, he defeated her spirited.


Excerpt: I met Reed on one of the internet dating sites. Every day, I spent hours on the internet searching as many sites as possible for Kevin, and any of the other men who raped and tortured me in his basement. Sometimes, I got lucky. So far, I had discovered three of the men that frequented Kevin’s residence. However, Reed just happened to be a victim of circumstance. Unfortunately, he looked like one of the men, and that was good enough for me.

Excerpt: I woke up to an intense pain in my stomach, and I looked at the clock and saw that it was 2:00 AM. Then, I rolled over, looked at Thomas, and shook my head. He was a very attractive man, which was one of the reasons why I had remembered him so well. I looked at the wedding ring on his finger and shook my head. I actually felt sorry for his wife.

Excerpt: “We all think that our life’s situations are unique, but you’d be surprised to know that somewhere on this huge planet, somebody is in a worse situation than you. I know that’s sad to think, but unfortunately it’s the reality of this world we live in.”

Toni is a complicate character, and she was the most difficult character to write because of the depth of her pain and of the agony of her defeat. She struggles to find the courage to live when all she really wants to do is die.

About the Character (Candace Carter)

Candace Carter, the youngest of the four women in the group, is trapped in the underworld of sex, pornography and prostitution. After Candace’s mother abandons her at five years old, she lives with her aunt. Although, her aunt loves Candace with all of her heart, she fails to protect her from the lust of her husband who eventually devastates Candace’s innocence.

For nine years, Candace’s uncle molests her nearly every day. She finally escapes to the one man eager to exploit her even more. Of course, he easily recognizes Candace’s vulnerabilities and promptly proceeds to manipulate and mold her into his puppet. Eventually, Candace is trapped in the secluded gangland world of sexual exploitation, and the only way out is death.

Excerpt: Diamond hated me. She wanted to be the best stripper at the club, and that title belonged to me. Of course, owning the title meant absolutely nothing to me. I hated dancing, stripping, and the club, but the title provided a sense of security. Generally, the best strippers brought in the most money, and Aaron appraised a woman’s value based on the amount of dollars and cents she earned for his business. When your job was only as good as your next dance, you wanted to be the best. Diamond also wanted the title of Aaron’s woman, but that title also belonged to me. Of course, I hated him more than I hated stripping. He dominated and controlled every aspect of my life, and more than anything, I wanted out of Aaron’s world. I would have gladly traded places with her, but the titles provided a sense of security and guaranteed my survival.

Excerpt: I brushed the glittery powder on my face and arms, and then I applied the dark eyeliner and silver shadow around the eyes. Finally, I applied some mascara on the eyelids and stared in the mirror at the stranger inside of me. She was a beautiful woman. Her flawless, radiant skin glowed, and her cherry red lips glistened in the light. Although her big, brown eyes sparkled, they also easily revealed her sadness. The only obvious flaw was a scar necklace, which wrapped around the front of her neck like a piece of jewelry; a gift from the man who loved her to death.

Excerpt: For a moment, Candace stared at me in silence. As I looked into her sad eyes, I recognized the pain she stored in her soul. Many times, I saw the same reflections of humiliation and shame in my mother’s eyes. She finally responded, “What if I can’t think of ten things that I love about myself?”

About the Character (Anita Harrison)

Anita, the pastor’s wife, lives in a fantasy world created by her husband. She is a character in his life’s script, and he is the director, and the producer. Essentially, he tells her what to wear, how to speak, where to go, and how to feel. Then, every day she walks onto his stage and presents a command performance worthy of a standing ovation. However, unlike the theater, the action is real; the beatings are real, the blood is real, and her fear is real. Although, Anita is cognizant of her situation and understands how tragic it is, she lives with a secret, which she believes is more brutal than his beatings.

Excerpt: As the Pastor’s wife, I became a character in his life’s script. I lost my identity and my name. Most people called me the Pastor’s wife; not woman, or friend, or even Anita, just the Pastor’s wife. Living up to the standards of that label was a difficult task. Everyone had their expectations of me. Essentially, they told me what to wear, how to speak, where to go, and how to feel. Every day I walked onto his life’s stage and presented a command performance worthy of a standing ovation, and in time, I owned my character’s persona. Eventually, I knew her better than I knew myself.

Excerpt: I played the role of the perfect Christian. I made the righteous decisions, spoke the right words, wore the correct attire, and always displayed the appropriate attitude. Every sister idolized me but none of them befriended me, and although a congregation of people surrounded me, most of the time I felt alone.

 Excerpt: He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. His embrace burned, like a blanket of fire. I finally buried my face into his chest and sobbed. The tears were my saving grace; a fire extinguisher that sometimes worked.

Excerpt: My heart raced and sweat flowed from my pores, like water. I stood in the middle of the living room and waited for someone to say something. My father walked into the room and sat down in his brown recliner. He failed to acknowledge me, and his rejection crushed my spirit. In the car on the way home, my mother described his love for me as an everlasting and unbreakable passion. She said, “You’re his little girl and fathers always love their little girls.” Although, I hoped it was the truth, I had heard the disgust and hatred in his voice, and I knew that my father would never love Satan. He would never allow the devil to enter his soul.